


New At This

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien anatomy, Alien/Human Relationships, First Time, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Xeno, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:05:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22583743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Ever gotten fucked?""No.""Ever gotten gay fucked?""No.""Wanna try?""WhAT?""No homo, tho.""...Fine."In which Karkat gets convinced to 'experiment' a little.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, DaveKat
Comments: 1
Kudos: 67





	New At This

**Author's Note:**

> The spacing is a little weird since it was copied from a Google Doc.

Karkat sighed and stared up at the ceiling as he leaned back on the couch. He couldn’t wait for this dumb rock to finally get to wherever the fuck they were supposed to even be going. He could hardly remember anymore.

He heard footsteps but didn’t look at who it was. He could guess it was Dave since Kanaya and Rose were off somewhere glowing or whatnot.

Suddenly his view of the very plain grey ceiling was obscured by the cool kid’s irritating face.

“Fuck off, Strider.”

“Nah.” Dave replied, and then disappeared from view again. Soon Karkat was surprised by a human boy laying across his lap and finally looked down at the Dave using him as part of the couch.

“Why the fuck are you touching me.”

“Because you’re comfy.” Dave replied, looking up at Karkat with his normal stoic expression. “And I’m boooooored.” He drew the word out for a shitty dramatic effect. 

Karkat made a vaguely disgusted face at him and huffed. “How am I supposed to help with that?” He asked sarcastically.

“Have you ever had sex?” Dave asked to the surprise of Karkat.

“Um, what?!” Karkat went visibly rigid.

Dave went quiet for a moment. “Pailing. Whatever the fuck you call it.”

“No, I have not! What the fuck even is your point???” Karkat didn’t really know what prompted this conversation but he kind of wanted to escape from it.

Another small period of quiet passed. 

“You…. wanna try?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course not!”

“Don’t worry dude, no homo, obviously.”

“Dave I think we’ve established I don’t give a single  _ shit _ about your earth human homo! You must be fucking delusional to think I’d want to be in any quadrant wi-” Karkat was cut off by a hand clamping over his mouth.

“Cmon, dude? Not even as like, a little experiment? I’m just curious!” Dave said and then removed his hand from Karkat’s face afterward.

“Did I  _ fucking stutter _ ?” Karkat’s voice turned malicious.

Dave sat up and scooted back so his legs were just over Karkat’s lap but he was sitting on couch mostly. He lifted his hand to gently place on Karkat’s cheek. “Cmon, it couldn’t be  _ that _ bad.” 

Karkat’s expression softened a little at the face touch, and he looked away. “Shit like this is like a commitment, Dave.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Dave used his other hand to turn Karkat’s face so he had to look at him. “Not even a first kiss?”

Karkat made a disgusted noise and huffed. “I’ve already had my first kiss you dumbass!” He didn’t really have a choice but to stare at the dark outline of Dave’s eyes through his shades. “I’m not  _ that _ under-experienced.”

“I highly doubt you have.”

Karkat scowled at him and growled. “Okay, how about this.” He tapped Dave’s shades lightly with a claw. “I’ll do this for you, but ONLY if you take off your shades.”

“Sorry man, I can’t do that.”

Karkat shrugged and pushed Dave off his lap, getting up. “Then I’m not going to help you with  _ shit. _ ” He started walking away, and heard Dave following.

“Okay, fine. I’ll do what you want.”

Karkat slowed down and looked at Dave with a semi-surprised expression. “Are you really that fucking curious about pailing shit?”

An awkward tone edged into Dave’s voice as he responded, “Uh, yeah?”

Karkat sighed as he redirected himself to the room he had decided as his bedroom. It had a decent bed in it and a TV now, so he had already found himself holed up in there several times while watching his movies.

As he kept walking, Karkat’s nerves seemed to be getting to him and it became harder to take each step.

After a mental time of 100 years Karkat reached his door and fumbled with the knob. Dave was still following pretty closely even as he settled down on his bed. He leaned back with his legs in front of him only for Dave to gently part his knees and settle in between them. 

Karkat’s legs now pressed to either side of Dave’s waist, giving the human a look of anticipation.

“H-How is this supposed to go?” Karkat asked with an edge to his voice. 

“Shhh!” Dave put a hand over his mouth again. “I’m a fuckin’ expert, Karkat. Just relax and trust me.”

“That sounds  _ really  _ earth human gay, you know that right?”

“You know that you really only have to say ‘gay’ instead of whatever jumbled fuck of words you just said, right?” 

“I don’t give a shit. I’ll say it how I want. Now please just hurry up.” Karkat was getting anxious. Every moment it seemed like his mind had yet another reason to stop this right here. 

He felt a little better when Dave’s hands poked under his sweater and rubbed comforting circles over his hips, yet also made him feel like the situation was more charged than ever.

Karkat squeaked slightly when he felt his sweater being slightly pulled up, and grabbed onto Dave’s arm which stilled him. 

“What’s wrong?”

“D-Do you really have to do that?” Anxiety crept into Karkat’s voice and he whined. 

His nervousness was shut down by a quick kiss pressing to his lips, and he relaxed into it and purred. When Dave pulled away, Karkat was understandably confused. 

“I thought we were just doing… uh, not that.”

“I’m giving you the full treatment, sweetheart.”

“Gog you’re so fucking insufferable.” Karkat growled. However, he looped an arm around the back of Dave’s neck and pulled him into another kiss. Again he felt his sweater being tugged upward and he pulled back so Dave could get it fully off.

Karkat whined quietly and moved his arms to cross in front of his chest.

“I know I’m not really the most attractive body type ever, you can spare me your shitty comments.”

Dave realized at this point that Karkat was a lot skinnier and smaller underneath his sweater. The time he had already spent on the meteor had clearly given him a much more healthy weight, but there was still a hint of damn this kid should fucking eat more.

“Christ, Karkat. Remind me to slip you some of my leftovers more often.”

What Karkat said next implied he clearly took Dave’s words as sarcasm, “I know. I need to work on not being a fucking food hoarder.”

“What? No. If you lose any more weight you’ll probably just waste away.” Dave shook his head, vague concern in his tone.

Karkat sighed then seemed to lose a bit more of his patience. “A-Are you gonna fuck me or not?”

“Fine, fine.” Dave guided Karkat to lay on his back.

Karkat wrapped his legs around Dave’s waist, at least as much as he could in his current position. A hand ran up his side and touched around his grubscars, causing him to give a loud whine. “C-Careful with those.” He gasped.

Dave took this as a wide open invitation, and pressed a little harder on the grubscars. 

Karkat put a hand over his mouth and whined again, his legs pressing harder against Dave’s sides.

Dave grinned and pulled his hands away, instead fumbling with Karkat’s pants and pulling them off as well as the boxers. The clothing items were tossed across the room in a direction Dave didn’t know nor care to know.

What he was intrigued to find out, however, was the fact there was something  _ moving _ in place of where the normal shit should be on this troll. Okay, well that was new.

The surprise on his face must have been visible, given Karkat's reaction.

“What the fuck is wrong with you now?” Karkat gave him a weird look. “If you’re having second thoughts you can fucking stop, you know.”

Dave shook his head. “I’m just not used to your alien shit, man.”

“What do you mean? Humans don’t have this shit?” Karkat tried to sit up but a hand was planted on his chest that forced him to stay down.

“Nah, but it's no issue. I can navigate my way around any dick, alien or not.”

“While I am certain your prowess in bulge knowledge is immense, your comment does not give me any more faith in your ability.” Karkat replied. 

Dave pressed a hand to Karkat’s lips. “There are too many words coming from your mouth right now.”

Karkat grumbled quietly for a moment until he felt soft kisses being pressed to his chest. Dave worked slowly down Karkat’s chest and stomach until he was getting dangerously close to the troll’s bulge.

“What the fuck are you doiii- aaAAahh!” Karkat suddenly wailed loudly as there was a  _ mouth  _ around his  _ bulge _ and he didn’t really know what to feel other than an intense tingly type feeling sending electrifying shocks through his body.

“Oh  _ please _ keep doing that-” He moaned. His legs were stiffened as he tried not to fucking squish Dave’s head as he did  _ whatever  _ was causing that heavenly feeling.

He felt something soft and wet against his bulge to which he responded by moaning once more.

Suddenly there was a bit of pressure and  _ oh god _ his bulge was getting sucked and both of his hands gripped tightly at the sheets as he gasped.

“Daaahhh-” Karkat tried to say Dave’s name but was caught by another moan escaping himself. “Daaave~” 

He felt a coiling somewhere in his abdomen and his breathing sped up a little… only for Dave to stop and lift his head.

“Please,  _ please  _ give me more-” Karkat whined, looking at Dave… who had apparently taken his shades off before messing with Kar’s bulge. 

Karkat eyed the brilliant red eyes with a stunned intrigue. He then became even more fixated on the reddish tinted drool dripping down Dave’s chin.

Dave moved again until he was hovering over Karkat on his hands and knees. Karkat’s legs went to wrap around his waist again as Dave fumbled to undo his jeans and pull them down.

Karkat didn’t give enough of a shit to fixate on whatever the human had going on down there. He felt a finger prodding around below his bulge, clearly seeming to be trying to locate his nook.

Impatient, Karkat grabbed Dave’s hand and guided him to the correct spot before releasing him. “H-Hurry up. Please.” He whined as finally Dave seemed to locate the nook and pressed a finger inside. Dave’s face went almost entirely red as if he came to a sudden, embarrassing conclusion.

One that Karkat didn’t give a shit about, and tried to move his hips to gain more pleasure. Soon Dave’s entire finger was as deep inside as it could go, which was decidedly enough for Karkat to need to adjust to.

Karkat moaned quietly, especially when Dave added another finger. After a bit he pulled his hand away and replaced it with something else, Karkat wasn’t caring to look. He quietly bit down on his lip as Dave’s weird human bulge was slowly slipping inside his nook.

“Can’t you g-go any f-fucking faster??” Karkat grumbled, whining.

Dave made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a huff, pausing his advancement. “Don’t wanna hurt you, dear.”

Karkat didn’t know why being called ‘dear’ in that way was enough to get him whimpering and whining again, but he didn’t have much time to think on that as soon Dave was inside to full hilt.

Karkat gasped and panted, pleasure mixed with a tiny bit of manageable pain as he felt himself adjust to having a bulge  _ inside  _ of him.

He looked up as Dave was leaning down to kiss him again. Karkat could taste something of himself on Dave’s tongue as it slipped into his mouth and pushed against his. He realized he had closed his eyes as he had to blink them open when Dave pulled away. Black eyes met red ones as they fondly stared at each other for a moment.

“Are you ready for me to get going, now?” Dave asked, waiting for Karkat’s nod of approval. Once he’d gotten permission, he started slowly moving his hips. He pulled out halfway, then pushed back in.

Karkat’s breath hitched and he gave small outward breaths for every movement made. Soon the pace was picked up, and he got semi-used to the feeling of being full. He noticed Dave’s breathing was matching his own now, breathy and panting.

Karkat lifted his hand to twine through Dave’s creamy blond hair. Dave blinked his appreciation. Karkat stared into his pretty red eyes and moaned quietly as the pace of the thrusting was picking up.

“Daaaaave~” Karkat moaned softly and pulled him into another kiss. In response the thrusts got a little more ragged and jittery; Dave moaned into his mouth. “I love youuuu.” Karkat mumbled after pulling away shortly. He knew he’d probably regret admitting that later, but he didn’t care right now.

“N-No homo.” Dave muttered back at him. As a response Karkat almost felt a pang through his chest. However he didn’t show it, and just kissed him again.

“D-Dave.” Karkat grabbed Dave’s face and stared into his eyes. 

“H-Harder~” He whined, winking with as much pure seduction as he could summon.

Dave wheezed heavily and complied. His thrusts had a little more force put into them.

Karkat rolled his hips in time with each thrust, already feeling himself coming close to where he’d been before. He could feel Dave’s movements getting more and more jittery, making him think Dave was pretty close too.

It didn’t take long for either of them to go over the edge. Dave quickly pulled out before he followed Karkat. As a gay human Dave had no fucking idea how troll anatomy worked but he felt like either way it would be bad in an otherwise ended situation.

Afterward Dave collapsed forward on top of Karkat, who made an ‘oof’ sound. 

“Y-You’re gonna crush me.” Karkat groaned and pushed Dave off of him. Afterward he snuggled up to Dave’s side and purred happily.

Dave pulled his jeans up and looked over at Karkat. “Did you say you love me?” He asked, running his hands through the troll’s hair.

Karkat’s face flushed a darker color than it already was. “I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He mumbled, grabbing a handful of Dave’s shirt. He felt a hand roaming near his horns but didn’t stop it. As he felt fingers running over the tips of his horns he gave a louder purr.

“Did you mean it, though?” Dave asked.

“O-Of course not…” Karkat’s voice was getting quieter and quieter.

“Okay…” Dave patted the troll’s back and sighed.

Karkat closed his eyes and nuzzled Dave’s chest. “So are you happy now? Learn everything you wanted to know?” He asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Dave said awkwardly.

“M...Maybe this doesn’t have to be the last time?” Karkat asked further, a hopeful look in his eyes as he looked at Dave.

“I’m sure we could arrange something.”

Karkat nodded slowly. “Also… I really like your eyes. Th-They’re… cool.” He could have cringed at the wording he used.

“Mhmm.” Dave hummed.

Karkat slowly resorted to ‘kneading’ Dave’s shirt. He slowly yet surely fell asleep.


End file.
